Sometimes you read things in papers that makes you gurn your face and go “DUHH!” very loudly to yourself because what the article has reported is so bloody obvious, it seems stupid to report it.
Such a matter happened this morning: The Guardian reports “hidden charges add 30% to cost of seat for music and theatre fans”. This, in itself, sounded as if it had the possibility to shed new light on the subject of overpriced gigs. Did it?
“… four out of five Which? members surveyed thought the booking fees were too expensive and 89% wanted to see all additional charges included in the advertised price of tickets for concerts and other events.”
Well done, Which? Fantastic work there, stating the bleeding bloody obvious. Has no one at Which? or the Guardian ever bought a ticket from major outlets before? They’ve been doing this shit forever.
O2 Festival tickets for the Morrissey, Beck, New York Dolls and Siouxie Sioux day go from a reasonable £45 to something in the mid-to-late 50s. Just try and book a ticket with ticketmaster (one of the worst offenders), go on! I dare yah! Some online box office charges you £2.50 to print your own ticket. Why?
And now for a tale of an old Oxbridge academic getting things completely wrong:
Cambridge students are being asked “for a comparison between [Sir Walter] Raleigh’s poetry and a choice of songs by [Amy] Winehouse, Bob Dylan and Billie Holiday.”
Come, now, Cambridge: Amy Winehouse in the same league of lyrics as Bob Dylan? I’m not really one for Dylan (I like his songs played by other people, though), but Winehouse is not even close.
“I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks im fine
He’s tried to make me go to rehab
I wont go, go, go.”.
- Rehab (Amy Winehouse)
“Go lightly from the ledge, babe
Go lightly on the ground
I’m not the one you want, babe
I’ll only let you down
You say you’re lookin’ for someone
Who’ll promise never to part
Someone to close his eyes to you
Someone to close his heart
Someone to die for you and more”
- It Ain’t Me Babe (Bob Dylan)
Raleigh represents a pinnacle in English literature. Dylan also represents that. Maybe Holiday represents that, she’s definitely an era-defining musician, but Winehouse? What about Johnny Rotten? Joe Strummer? Kurt Cobain? Even George Clinton would be better.
“The students could have suggested that the writers shared regular brushes with the law and a fall from grace.”
Fucking hell, if that’s the level of comparison they want in Cambridge … They could have also suggested that the writers shared similar features like noses, hair, ears, fingers, arms, toes, legs, blood, veins, nails, body fat, nerve systems …
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